I'm a possessive, psycho bitch.

I came to the conclusion that every relationship I have ever had have been crazy because of me. I am possessive, stubborn, mean, psycho and delusional. I am a manipulator. My first relationship I drove him so insane that he actually would believe everything I said. I would tell him lies and when it was my fault I made him think it was his. He became obsessive over me and I made him. Then my second relationship was also evil and its my fault. I made him so mad that he got abusive. Why am I like this? Why do I have to be this possessive girl that drives men crazy? I'm never going to be loved or liked if my actions are always so stupid. I'm pretty sure I'm screwed in the relationship department. I used to want to be single and always fucked around and loved being that way. Now I have no idea how to begin a relationship let along let the guy know I'm heading towards that way. So if he's hanging out with me he's got to keep and open mind. Every time I even say something remotely towards that, they find it to forward. What am I supposed to say then? "Lets be friends with benefits and see where that leads us?" Fuck that. I don't want to fall for someone and then later on know nothing is ever going to become of it. I'm tired of looking. I'm tired of being so fucking honest. I'm tired of liking the wrong guys. Is it so hard to find a guy in Vancouver? I feel like Vancouver is the capital of No Man's Land. No guys ever ask a girl for her number anymore. Maybe once and awhile but not really, guys just suck here. I don't know how anyone can fall in love in Vancouver. It's never going to happen for me. I need to wake up and get the fuck out of here. Girls I wish you all luck if you live in Vancouver. If you do find love here then your one of the lucky ones. 


xoxo
Dylan