Is this who I am going to be forever?

 I don't quite understand how I turned out this way. I am probably the biggest self centred person in the world. I don't ever care about anyone other than my self. I have Facebook but the only reason I am on Facebook is because I want to look at pictures of myself or contact a hot guy. That is basically it. I could care less what everyone is doing. Facebook has been getting more boring each year. I have a feeling Facebook is going to be over with within the next year or two. Thats just my theory and if not I wont even be on it. Why? Well, just to let everyone know I have better things to do with my time then put photos of myself up and brag about how good looking I am and how great my life is. I am not being sarcastic. I think I'm hot and for a high school drop out I have it pretty fucking good. The only thing thats wrong with me is I can never be interested in a guy for over a month. I just don't really care for trying to make anything work with someone. Its to much work and I just want to focus on myself. I am very self centred. It's not that I don't like the guys its just me not caring to make an effort. I wouldn't mind having a fuck buddy though. I love sex.
 I met this guy he's literally a guy version of me. We don't want a relationship nor do we care if we see other people. It's the perfect sex relationship. Although he seems like the total relationship kind of guy. He texts me randoms things about what he's doing in the day. Is that normal? Do people who use each other for sex text each other on a daily basis and seeing what one another is doing? In my books no. Then he sleeps over and tells me he wants to leave extra clothes at my place for next time he comes here. Thats not right is it? Then he tells me how he wants me to meet his friends. This is what I don't understand. He keeps asking me questions about myself. Why does he want to know? I told him that I was into zodiac signs and then he started asking if we were compatible. Which I already knew that we weren't, I told him we were though and he said "That explains everything." What a joke! I honestly am probably more confused then I ever am when I'm on my period in the grocery store deciding if I should by yogurt instead of chocolate because its healthier. I usually end up leaving with neither.
 When we were in my bed after sex. He started cuddling me and I hate cuddling. Maybe he's just being a guy and doing it because its what girls like. I fucking hate the fact that guys will lie just to please the girl. I rather just be told what I don't want to hear and be okay with it then lie and be confused the whole time. Even though I'm honestly more confused than anyone right now. Maybe its because I am getting my period. I feel like I won't ever find love since Jesse. Its like I can't feel any emotion for anyone. I try and I sometimes feel like I finally like a guy then all the sudden I stop. They leave my brain completely and I end up not caring about them what so ever. I'm a cold hearted bitch that no guy can love nor I will be able to. It's a viscous cycle and I feel like I am making no sense at all. I hate it. Am I going to be like this.
 I also asked him (Matt) if we could see other people. He said he was already seeing someone. Thats when I knew we were perfect for this. Good sex and we get to see other people. How much better could that get. Although in the back of my mind I feel like he's lying. I guess I need to stop thinking so fucking much and just go with the flow. Or I might drive myself insane.


Xox
Dylan